Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
