but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
