Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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