But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Randomize
