not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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