At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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