grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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