it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
