so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
