but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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