Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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