you guys were way drunker than both of me
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I could fuck to npr.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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