You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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