so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
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