those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
