my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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