did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
