i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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