he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
