I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
