Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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