I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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