I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
