I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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