It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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