You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
