I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
