News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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