I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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