i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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