Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Come share oat with me in your robe
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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