So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
