STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
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