so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
