seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
