idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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