why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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