The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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