Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
