I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
