i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
