So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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