Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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