We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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