Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
