remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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