I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
