i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Randomize
