Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Randomize
