You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize