WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
