Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
