we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
The dick lei will go down in squad history
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
