i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
