Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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