Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
