I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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