I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I need moral support for this bender
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
