Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
