my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I could fuck to npr.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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