Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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