erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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