living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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