I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
