you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
