I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
worst night to have a conscience
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
