I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
